So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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