I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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