Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
