Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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