You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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