Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
