he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
