yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
