THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You are a genius and a whore.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
