Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
