How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
