I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
