at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I would fuck him just for his dog
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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