i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
