i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
