mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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