just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize