like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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