Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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