Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
