Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Alive.
So much puke
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
