She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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