i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
