we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
