i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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