his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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