He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
