Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize