Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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