No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
