how can u be prego again
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
