i need an iv and a liver transplant
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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