That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
