My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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