I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
