but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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