It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize