she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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