Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
