God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize