Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
