some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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