seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
