wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
