I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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