i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
