I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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