I just saw a hot homeless man
I have demons in me.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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