I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
