also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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