Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
