Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
