i permit you to call me
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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