hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
