I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize