Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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