I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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