That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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