He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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