And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
