I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
