Dude my mom stole all your condoms
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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