So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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