let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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