so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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