Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
