Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I have already put on my inside pants.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
