just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize