Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
