So drunk its hurt
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
