Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
