I can tuck mytits in my pants
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
