What a fucking waste of an outfit
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
