i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize