I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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